Egos and Expectations
Sometimes our self-importance keeps us from enjoying things as they are. Our egos and expectations say that we’re unique and our opinion matters. However, the constant battle between realism and idealism can bring the ruin of a human being’s mental health. Our expectations of what we think should happen often cloud our judgment of the actual thing in question.
Take the new Star Wars movie, for example. I haven’t seen it, so no spoilers. However, I have heard so many people complain about the movie, only because they expected it to be something else. What kind of shit is that? It’s a movie about wars, in space. Anything more than that is your projection of expectation.
It’s worse, with artists. Our own opinions of ourselves place our weight above everyone else’s. We expect everyone to be on our level, even if we can’t define what our level is. That’s just as applicable to the rest of the world, though. Sometimes, these expectations aren’t bad, but sometimes they can cause serious issues. For example, the correlation between the “friend zone” and rape is all about people expecting more than they’re worth. Which is also why some men won’t approach women they’re interested in because they expect to get hit with a sexual harassment case, or get called a creeper, etc.
We ALL do it.
Don’t beat yourself up too hard. I’m guilty of it myself. Often times I expect people to be on the same wavelength as I am when it comes to certain things. I find myself being let down when it comes to relationships in which we don’t share the same goals, or if we do, they aren’t communicated on BOTH sides. It’s easy for me to have trouble dealing with a musician going in a different direction, even though that’s what all artists should be doing to grow. I try to be objective when it comes to these things, but even I catch myself projecting.
So now: the realism part. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but how we feel about anything amounts to a sum of jack and shit. While your support is appreciated, your favorite artist owes you that same sum. Your vote in any election only goes so far as the candidate wants it to. That woman you tried your hardest to impress doesn’t owe you a damn thing. That’s not to say “quit voting,” or “don’t buy that album,” or even “stop trying to find a good one.” Just be aware that your opinion doesn’t make another person who they are. If it does, that’s an entirely different set of problems out of my scope. I recommend they seek therapy, immediately.
This is the last article I’ll be writing for “How I’m Feeling.” Originally, this column was intended to be a vehicle for Zo. I just hopped in to help him out during the holiday season. Starting next week, he’ll be the sole navigator on this particular journey. Don’t worry (not that you would). I’ll also be starting my own column, more related to the production side of things here at Hunted Down Entertainment. Thank you to everyone who has read (or in the future will read) my thoughts. Special thanks go to Zo for allowing me to vent a little before I got back to work. See you guys in the next article.